Everything is Going to be Alright

For the first time in six months, he smile at me.
I died.

I fall in love with him all over again, although...stupid me...I SHOULDN'T!
I mean, what is he thinking, feeling?

Why did he just...walk away? Why didn't he fight for me? Why is he talking to me? Is he over me? Does he only want to be friends? Or is there something more? Does he still love me?

...Because, let's be honest. He is the only person i think i will ever love. I know I am young. Oh my God, I am nineteen. But I know i love him.

And here he is. Maybe for a moment. I mean, he leaves this summer...again. And then it's what...another year until he may have to leave to be a pastor in another town.

Yeah, I fell in love with a kid who wants to be a pastor. ME!!! HIM!!!! If anyone knows us.... well, I doubt that this is how they'd picture either one of us, especially him, now. But i don't care. I know he'll be the best. no doubt.

I want him. I want him because i love the way he smiles, and laughs. Nothing is sexier than him playing saxophone. He is intelligent, he always approaches problems from a unique perspective. He loves children, and is so wonderful around them. He's such a geek to. I am in love with a geek...me?!?! haha. But i love him for it. And I love him for more reasons that i can put in words, because so much about him is unique to him, just his personality. I have yet to meet anyone like him, and i doubt i ever will.

He is who i want to o to sleep with at night and wake up with in the morning. He is who i want to support and help in all he does. I want to cheer him up when he is down, laugh at his jokes, and be there when all he needs is someone. I want to help him, encourage him to be the best he can be, because trust me, there is A LOT that boy will be :) I want to be the one who has his kids. who fights with him about the dumbest things. He makes up with him when we realize just how dumb we are. He is all i want.



Does he still want me? Could he ever want me again?

Everything will be alright. No matter how this ends, it will be. I just can't see how now.